“How to Be Happy and Unstressed No Matter What’s Going On”
You don’t need to tolerate feelings of overwhelm, stress and unhappiness. This workshop will get you feeling good again using cutting edge techniques that you can easily learn and do on your own.
You will learn:
· The #1 Secret to Being Happy and how you can increase your happiness right away
· How to decrease your stress and overwhelm in as little as 5 minutes a day
Bonuses:
· Refreshments at each session
· Workbook included ($25 value)
· 30 minutes “Increase Your Happiness” Coaching Session with Chris ($100 value) = $125 in FREE Bonuses
4 Week Workshop Series (limited to 12 people)
Tuesdays 6:30-8:00 PM (4/21, 4/28, 5/5, 5/12)
Studio 34 Yoga
4522 Baltimore Ave.
Philadelphia, PA 19143
To Register: Send me an e-mail at Chris@chriscoward.com or call (215) 472-1572 for more information
Cost: $100 by 4/15, after that its $125
Check out this video of an American Idol contestant who no one thought would be any good. She certainly does not fit the typical “I want to be a famous singer” look. After you view the video ask yourself this question, “as a leader, what do I want so badly that I am willing to be laughed at as I try my best? I would love to hear your responses.
Susan Boyle - Singer - Britains Got Talent 2009
In the last six months, has someone at work talked to you about your progress? This is the 10th question on Gallup’s Q12 which are questions connected with staff retention and employee engagement.
In today’s fast paced workplace managers can become so focused on getting things done, keeping up and making sure their employees know what to do next that they hardly remember to let their employees know how they are actually doing. Sometimes it’s only at the annual performance appraisal does an employee get to hear what you think of their work. Heck, I’ve talked with managers who still haven’t told particular employees what they need to hear about their work performance.
If you know that employee feedback is important what steps can you take to make sure it happens regularly?
- If something is bugging you about your employee, say it - with tact of course, but don’t let it fester and become bigger. You are doing them a favor with respect to their development.
- If your employee is doing something particularly well, tell them! Not just, “hey, nice job” but be specific about what they are doing well.
- Even if you are really busy, make sure you schedule some sit down time with each staff person every few weeks and in addition to exchanging important information, let them know how they are doing.
- When giving feedback, focus more on the future rather than the past.
- Listen to their response from your feedback. Do they agree with you? Do they want to take action toward improvement? Can they see what they did well?
- Consider following up the feedback by providing the employee coaching.
I would love to hear your “feedback” and comments regarding this post.
Do You:
- question your effectiveness as a manager?
- feel like you are starting to get burned out?
- wish you could hold staff more accountable?
- have problems with staff retention?
In my “Secrets of Highly Effective Managers Group Coaching Program” you will get:
- support in identifying and getting rid of limiting beliefs and ineffective managerial habits
- top notch coaching by phone in a group setting of like minded managers who are going through similar situations
- an opportunity to make this year your best leadership year ever
- a renewed sense of energy at work and at home
- increased confidence in managing challenging employees and situations
- an initial one-one coaching call with me and e-mail support between calls
4 week teleconference series: Tuesdays May 19, 26, June 2, 9 from 7-8PM
(all calls will be recorded in case you have to miss one)
Cost: $167
To Register: e-mail me at chris@chriscoward.com
I’ve been taking Pilates for about 2 months with this great instructor, Julia. I started thinking about what she does exactly that makes her such an excellent leader and teacher. Here’s my stab at putting it into words…
1) She gives clear instruction.
Julie knows the right words to communicate what she wants us to do. She translates body positioning into verbal instructions that help students connect with what they need to do. As a leader, you want to make sure your staff know exactly what you want them to do.
2) She does not over instruct.
Julia gives us all just the right amount of instruction – enough to engage in the correct postures and movements but not so much that we aren’t given a chance to just do it. Some managers tend to give too much instruction, which ends up confusing their worker.
3) She notices what help you need right when you need it.
I find it amazing that when I’m trying to do a new pose and it isn’t feeling right, Julia will say just one thing like “pull your shoulders back” and it is exactly what is needed for me to be successful. The feedback is immediate rather than after the class when the moment is gone. Ever know a manager who frequently says, “you should have…”
4) She does not take her work, the class, or herself too seriously.
On a Saturday afternoon, the last thing I need is a serious exercise class (I do need exercise though…). I go there with friends and sometimes we find things funny. What’s great is that Julia laughs with us even though she sometimes has no idea what we are laughing about. Her teaching is very relaxed leaving everyone feeling like they can be successful at whatever level they are in the class.
5) She challenges us to do our best knowing everyone’s best is different.
When Julia teaches us poses she gives options based on varying ability. I never feel like I’m cheating myself when I need to bend my knees even though 5 people in the class can do the exercise with straight legs. Julia knows that we are all at varying levels of flexibility, strength, soreness, etc. and that there is a way to have us each challenged based on our unique ability. I see managers expect the same from everyone on the team when the reality is that not everyone has the same strengths and talents.
So I challenge you to develop your own “Julia” like ways when working with your staff and hey, maybe you’ll have them showing up for work on Saturdays…
I just finished reading the book, “Change Your Questions, Change Your Life” by Marilee Adams, Ph.D. Without rehashing the story, the main takeaway I got from the book is how important it is to ask the right questions.
This concept is very applicable to your role as a leader. For example, I’m working with a human services department who is struggling with low morale and underperformance by some of the front-line workers. Some of the questions they have already asked themselves are what Adams would call, “Judger” questions. Some examples of Judger questions are, “Why can’t the line staff do their jobs professionally?” ”Why is it so hard to hold employees accountable?” ”What is wrong with our program that’s leading to low morale?”
When you read these Judger questions, what do you feel in your body? Tight stomach, stiff shoulders, and tight jaw are common bodily reactions to questions that are essentially reactive and blame focused.
Adams defines “Learner” questions as open ended questions that are solution focused and win-win relating. ”What are the front line staff thinking, feeling and wanting?” ”What assumptions are we making?” ”What does it mean to hold someone accountable?” ”What’s possible in our department if everyone is working well together?”
When you read these questions, how do you feel? You may feel lighter in mood, optimistic, and open to new possibilities. By asking Learner questions, the leaders in the human services organization were able to imagine the program working they way they wanted it to. The defensiveness and blame were eliminated and staff were able to participate in the process more freely. They still have work to do in implementing the changes they envision, but through asking the right questions, the staff are engaged, motivated, and hopeful that the department can make a positive change.
As you work within your own department, what questions are you asking? I challenge you to ask Learner questions rather than Judger questions and observe what happens.
A few weeks ago I was inflicted with a minor rope burn while tying up my dog and neglecting to get out of the way as she charged the squirrels. I didn’t think much of it, sure it stung but there was no blood so I figured everything was OK. I didn’t treat it with anti-biotic ointment nor did I clean it really well.
A few days later my leg started swelling and was hot to the touch. I knew that it was getting infected and I was so angry at myself for not having prevented this by just slowing down and cleaning the affected area. I mean, really, how long would that have taken - 3 minutes tops?
The impact was this: oral anti-biotics for ten days, painful swelling from lower leg to foot which meant no exercise, difficulty walking and embarrassment from letting something so avoidable occur.
How does this relate to managing others? There are many times, as leaders, we ignore or discount the superficial problems, thinking that they will just go away without intervention. The staff person you just hired who you really want to work out but she’s called out a few times already. Are you taking her reasons at face value because you don’t want to have to revisit the hiring process, or are you addressing the situation head on? Or, the trusted employee who casually mentions that staff are frustrated with all of the new changes. Are you saying to yourself, “they’ll get used to it over time?” Or, are you being proactive and taking some time in staff meeting to process their concerns?
Take an honest assessment of your leadership at work. Are there any rope burns that sting a little but aren’t bleeding and too painful yet? Are there situations that you could take time to address, which will prevent a bigger problem from developing?
As always, please leave your comments on the blog. I would love to hear from you!
I was recently working with a manager in a social work organization who was feeling stressed about having to confront an employee who was undermining him as a leader. This staff person was openly doing her own thing, versus what she was instructed to do and it was leading to negative consequences. One impact this employee’s behavior had on the team was that other employees were asking whether they too could deviate from the plan and in this situation that was not a good idea.
My client was upset with this person and wanted to reinforce her needing to follow the plan but in the coaching session he kept talking about the strengths of this employee - how she could engage youth in a group setting, her knowledge of youth development, and her willingness to help out in crisis situations. It became clear that his stress was about 2 things: 1) not feeling confident in giving negative feedback to his staff person, with one of the reasons being that the employee was doing good work as well as being difficult. 2) worrying about what would happen during and after the conversation with the employee - would she quit? Would she become toxic in the workplace?
It turns out the discussion went very well and in recognizing the employee’s strengths, together they came up with a shift in her role that played to what she does best. My client acknowledged that getting clear on his message ahead of time instead of just being angry and letting it boil over into his relationship with this staff person was a good way to go since he could present as calm and together and be sincere in appreciating this employee’s strengths.
What are the unique strengths of your employees and are you leveraging them to benefit your organization? If an employee is getting under your skin, do they become “the bad employee” in your eyes or are you able to see that they have both positive and negative traits? What difficult conversations are you avoiding with staff members?
What is the connection between feeling happy and having less stress? For one, you can’t experience both feelings at the same time. And, positive psychology research shows that you can increase your happiness by doing certain exercises. By that reasoning, you can decrease your stress by doing those same exercises.
A working definition of stress taken from Claire Michaels Wheeler’s book, “10 Simple Solutions to Stress” is that stress is the “situation that arises in you when life’s challenges and pressures exceed your perceived ability to cope.” The key is that it is your perception of the event that affects your stress level. The good news is that you can increase your coping skills and make choices to increase your happiness.
One exercise to improve your happiness is gratitude journaling. This activity can lift your mood and move you away from a focus on what’s going wrong for you. I have several of my coaching clients do this and they report an immediate shift in mood. When doing this activity, reflect on what you are grateful for in your life - it could be family members, friends, a great meal, a fun party, etc. Aim to journal 3 days a week. I would love to know how it works for you. If you are too shy to post here on your results please send me an e-mail to chris@chriscoward.com Good luck!
If you live in Philadelphia, come on out to a free Stress Management Workshop on:
Tuesday, July 22, 2008 from 6-8PM. The location is Studio 34 Yoga at 4522 Baltimore Avenue in Philadelphia. Please RSVP to me at chris@chriscoward.com
Benefits from attending this workshop: You’ll leave the workshop more relaxed; You will gain clarity on your priority areas to focus on; You will have fun!; You will learn techniques to manage your stress